she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
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The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
NoShamevember. You game?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
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Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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