and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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