Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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