you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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