My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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