Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We don't watch enough power rangers
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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