I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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