But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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