Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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