what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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