She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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