I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
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Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize