Yo dont text me then not text me
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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