Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize