My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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