I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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