Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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