I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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