Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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