Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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