nutella sex= disaster
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
My liver just had a heart attack.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize