it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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