My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I wish I could teleport
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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