Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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