im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize