I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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