I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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