this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
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This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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