I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
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she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
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Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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