You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
sarcasm needs its own font
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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