glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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