I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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