k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
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No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
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That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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