mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Drake has all the answers
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
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