Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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