Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
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I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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