ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
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you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
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In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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