So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize