What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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