That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
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It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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