its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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