I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
there was a trapeze. enough said
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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