Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
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