can we get nightvision for the apartment?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize