Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize