she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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