wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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