I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Randomize