i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize