So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Non-Jews are for practice
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize